Excerpt from Dancing With Change

From here on, you are reading the book.

If you want that wonderful feeling that you are directing changes in your life, read on. If you have experienced a devastating event, if you want to design your own transitions, read on.

This book encourages you to shift from resisting change to welcoming it. You'll learn how to master the process of transition using a simple step-by-step procedure. Dancing with change, you’ll glide past blocks and barriers to achieve what you really want.Have you ever thought of viewing change as an opportunity for growth, rather than associating it with loss? It is the association with loss that causes you pain and prompts you to resist change. This book shows you how to overcome this resistance and release your pain. For those of you who have worn out countless pairs of shoes dragging your feet, this book helps you switch to dancing shoes.

This "how-to book" guides you through unsatisfying life situations so that you can optimize them into growth opportunities. If you are experiencing changes in career, business, a personal relationship, or the transitions of aging and retirement, you will find the information in this book addresses your needs. It is, however, not intended to replace professional therapy. If you feel you are in need of this type of counseling, I strongly recommend you pursue it.

The uniqueness of this book lies in its useful, practical approach to change. Regardless of your circumstances, you will discover simple methods for leading a more satisfying life in which you utilize your talents and special abilities to reap rewards. I have included numerous examples from my own experiences and those of clients and associates. You learn that achieving successful change is not limited to a gifted few. Success is possible for anyone.

Change has many times broken the continuity of my life. My parents separated when I was ten. At age sixteen, I graduated from high school and started work as a laborer because there was no money to continue my schooling. Through many ensuing changes, I became a psychologist and a successful businessman, returning eventually to practise my profession. My experience in the field of psychology ranges from college counseling, industrial psychology, management training and corporate planning to counseling in private practice. These experiences taught me that mastery of change is necessary to achieve what I desire in life. My many career moves put me in contact with associates and clients who demonstrated how to transform uninvited events into opportunities. They gave me a deep appreciation of how to evolve through the change process. The techniques and strategies they used are detailed in these pages.

My personal life has been equally packed with change. I have been faced with separation and divorce and have entered new relationships. I have been blessed with the responsibility of raising children and stepchildren. These rich experiences have yielded the insight that nothing is fixed, and miracles are often a normal part of life. Utilizing this book chapter by chapter, you will find what you previously thought was impossible in your life can become a reality.

Fear, the largest hurdle, hampers many of us in adapting to change. This book explains how to transform fear into energy for action. It guides you to direct that energy and lays down the necessary foundation to support your efforts. During the journey from where you are to where you want to be, there is no need to experience that “lost” feeling. Exercises and step-by-step procedures show you how to achieve your desires and enjoy the process.

Your fear transforms to excitement and enthusiasm, creating for you a different life with enhanced meaning and satisfaction.

Chapter 1 identifies the characteristics of change. By learning what to look for, you recognize that change is your ally rather than an enemy. Understanding that you can change only yourself gives new insights to your responsibilities. You then can claim freedom to express yourself and share your talents and skills with the world. This chapter describes how to find your power, allow your “wants,” and appreciate the value of stability in the midst of change.

Chapter 2 explains the reactions you have when you experience change that is imposed on you. The fear and the feeling of being victimized are explored so that you can master the accompanying anger, denial, and resistance. Rather than seeing this type of change as a setback or misfortune, you learn how to turn it into an opportunity. You are directed how to deal with the anxiety that generates when you are confronted with the unknown and how to manage worries, doubts, and guilt.

Chapter 3 teaches you how to become a visionary. Your vision is so important that the change process can be described in three steps: create your vision, believe your vision, and allow it to happen. This section gives you the tools to uncover your long-forgotten dreams and use them to chart the direction you want your life to take. You now lead in the dance of life.

In Chapter 4, you discover how your beliefs form your world and how they trap or free you. If you are trapped, you learn a process to identify the beliefs that are holding you prisoner so you can bring them under your control. You then develop a strategy to change these beliefs so that they serve you rather than limit you.

Chapter 5 shows you how to develop the necessary support system to follow through to your goals. You discover your true worth and how your worth matches your desires.

The actual process of change—the action phase—is discussed in chapter 6. Here you are guided to your goal. Following the steps provided puts you in the present moment so you don't fall prey to the pitfalls of past and future worries.

Chapter 7 presents the solution when you feel blocked or stymied. It steers you back on course or helps you seek a different path if it's appropriate.

You will use your natural ability to adapt and make changes with the numerous exercises and examples. By reawakening your appreciation of your uniqueness and your responsibility to express that uniqueness, life becomes a dance. You lead, choosing your experiences as partners. You respond to life’s events by gliding around obstacles that appear before you. In this great dance of life, you move easily to your dreams, enjoying each amazing step.